Gym update

I had a short merry making stint when i realized that my weight gain has FINALLY (hallelujah) stopped and, could it be, is now dropping?! 'beside myself with joy' really doesn't capture the spirit of exultation that coursed hotly through my veins. colours seem more vivid, sounds more melodic, the air sweeter. gladness bursts forth from every fibre of my being

it was about time. my butt was beginning to look like the man-tits on a fat guy in a muscle shirt.

i've seen those. they're astounding. and when the dude's walking, its like they come alive. like king neptune's dolphins valiantly attempting to transport one or two of king neptune's fat relatives.

and things just kept getting better.

on making my triumphant entry into the workout area, i observed the tightly-knit-browed, sweat drenched, heavily breathing vanilla suspects, diligently following instructor instructions. and all cardio-machines taken, except for the stair-climber machine. so i promptly jumped on it and began my workout.

aside: the stair machine is a piece of intricately carved work. if you want to burn calories like a motherfucker, this is the poison for you.

the stair machine doesn't really afford a good view of the gym as its closest to the wall with the muted army of TVs displaying a plethora of mind-numbingly boring local tv listings..or dstv sports, so i didn't see her until i began working on the free weights.

light blue sports bra, matching light blue tight, uh, fitting slacks, made of some flimsy cottony material that adheres to every contour on her body like it was designed by some sadistic gay fashion house.

and the body. oh lord.

i really don't know what sort of exercises she was doing but they involved an inordinately large amount of stretching.

while holding a horizontal pole, she'd throw one leg as far back as possible repeatedly, slowly, while staring determinedly at the mirror facing her. and every time she threw a leg up, there'd be no movement in the entire free weights area of the gym. every one suddenly wanted to work their legs and chests and lift dumb-bells which incidentally all happened to be behind this ..er.. workout.

so of course, a loose instructor had applied himself to her right side as soon as she walked in and was assisting her every which way. i tend to put his motives into question, though, because for the life of me, i have never ever seen some of the exercises she was doing. and they all involved some highly suggestive lower body motion. there's this one exercise she was doing, it involved spreading her legs as far apart as possible while standing, knees slightly bent holding one dumb-bell with both hands at slightly-bent-knee level, and, straight-backed, bending her knees until the dumb-bell almost touched the floor. she'd hold this oh-so-amazing position for a second or two, then straighten her knees.

i will never miss a day of gym again.

her rear end is indelibly impressed upon my retina. if i blink fast enough i can still see the outline of her butt muscles burning away at poor, unfortunate calories.