Fashionista

it has now become a health hazard idly taking a stroll in nairobi. the many and varied booties you come across can get you

a) prenged by the notorious, perenially reversing cab drivers in the city
b) impaled on one of the numerous metal rods scattered variously across the city - remnants of 'parking meters' i don't believe nairobi ever had
c) killed

having fed my eyes as much candy as they could stomach(eye?), i strolled into loose cyber for some much required respite. any more booty and i'd have ogled to death.

this had the makings of some brave and forward postulations..

i hereby postulate that chicks dress the way they do BECAUSE, somewhere deep down in their collective subconscious, crave the attention. some gland somewhere in the chicks' ..er.. brain, or spine or whereverthefuck, needs that attention like a junkie needs that next score.

so while busy postulating i figured, you know what? dudes should do the same thing that chicks do! highlight important body parts, encase them in some seriously uncomfortable, preferably wire-meshy scandalously tight attire and display them proudly.

yeah

that'd be the shit.

we need to flaunt our balls.

so basically, we need some form of cup like device (can items made of cloth be referred to as devices?) emeshed at the middle to trace the contours of the balls, preferably made of some hard, uncomfortable material (throw in a wire frame for extra 'support'). create some corset-like belt with a shaft to hold the penis up, perpendicular to the balls, for decency's sake, shave the crotch area off the trousers, add a frilly brocaded hem and we're in business.

and of course if you see a chick staring the tops of your balls peeking coquettishly out of your crotch area, you can call her all sorts of names and slap her with your handbag..

or attack her with your shoe.

your call.

and you have the backing of the government.

i'd venture into the psychological imbalances perpetuated by this mindset, then i'd have to become homosexual, forever banished from pussydom.

or dead.