i need to pick up some pointers from the extraordinary el_diab. the man's like a walking pheromone generator, or the energizer bunny, only his batteries have been put in in reverse, so he keeps coming and coming and coming....
my katiaring skills went the same way as that short fat bird that was eaten into extinction. but hell, i think i just don't have the - drive. the impetus.
this is terrible. my gonads, they need some form of relief.
although, in my defence, there's this one time i vibed some mama, and it traumatised me. she looked at me with such revulsion, i immediately went home and took a scalding hot shower with dettol and jik. like she shat diamond pellets out of a platinum ass, and urinated 500 year old whisky.
then there's this other time, i met this really beautiful lady - she's like a pearl. really hot.
but.
ah, the but. the accursed but. may the but burn in hell for all eternity and then some.
i think she thinks i'm one of those guys who have fourteen girlfriends in four different parts of the city. like i'm some sort of polygamous sex fiend. which, of course, i'm not. but for the life of me, i can't convince her otherwise. its some sort of catch 22 situation. i can't get some, because i look like i have some, although i actually have squat.
curse my dashing good looks, biting wit, manly facial hair and giant penis.
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