Friday, January 12, 2007

Post festive season recovery


So basically, nothing good comes easy or is fun. all the easy things just loosely give you an assortment of debilitating infections, a heinous body structure or a one-room shack in mukuru-kwa-njenga.

Directly after the rampant and carefree merry making of the festive season, I (of course) acquired myself a beauty of a protruberant abdominal. i can swear that thing appeared overnight. one day i had this rippling six pack and the next, i have this thing that looks like its supposed to be orbiting some celestial body.

Of course i had to do something about this unacceptable state of affairs and promptly joined the gym (that is right across from my place and has steam, sauna and massage by a beautiful and talented not-man).

And i have been there a total of, five times. goddamn scale claims i'm gaining weight, more weight in fact than when i was NOT going to the gym. this is some depressing shit. i can gain weight on my own, i don't need to pay copious amounts of cash to do it.

dammit.

I think its something in the water.

And another thing. you'd think that you'd get all sorts of fly-ass booty in a gym. Au contraire, my friend. Au contraire. i'd try to be more descriptive but then i'd risk death by severe trauma to the chochlea ( i don't really know what that is but it sounds like something that'd break if set upon with kicks and blows).

The gym instructor mumbled something about calories and cholesterol and fried foods as i was leaving to go to the bar and drown my sorrows.

No comments: